So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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