why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
