Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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