I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
