i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
