I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize