Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
