haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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