my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize