Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
