my phone needs a breathalizer
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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