broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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