I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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