You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
