FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
