I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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