We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
