He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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