I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
