piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
