I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
