I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
