True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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