I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dicks are not precious.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
