At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
