she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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