Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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