I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
