life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
