I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
