But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
