hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
