He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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