i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize