scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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