Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
