Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize