My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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