quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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