i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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