I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
