no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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