dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
