Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
