this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
