guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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