I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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