Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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