just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
