put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
