I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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