I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
