I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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