I think scott just propositioned me for sex
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
