i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
