omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
