you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
