it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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